After living in the same big house for 11 years and the daily struggles with the house, we have decided that we need a house all on one level, a bungalow, we have applied and as we are willing to give up this house the local authority said yes, as we are downsizing in what is called a TIS move…
After chatting and telling them our requirements it is agreed we can have a 3 bed bungalow, trouble is the local authority only have 6 in the whole of the City, and as they are 3 beds we know that families will be living in these so will be in for a super long wait…
I wrote to the local councillor’s and the local MP to see if they could help us with this as we need this sooner rather than later, the councillors never even replied or acknowledged me in any way however the local MP did write back and wrote to the local authority on my behalf, still have not heard back from his request for answers, but he did respond…
I have put our name down with a private authority as they have some 3 and 4 bed bungalows but again we are at the bottom of a huge waiting list, and know it will not be any time in the near future, there is plenty of things we are but patient is not one of them…
I am a wife to a supportive and gorgeous husband up puts up with my many moods and weird ways, including the not leaving the house for 11 years he shops, cooks, does school, DR’s and hospital runs, he is my best friend, soul mate and lover, together we are parents to 3 gorgeous children, Shaleise aged 17, Samara aged 16, and Teej who is 14, all of my children have Cerebral Palsy from barley noticeable to very noticeable…
When Teej was born we knew straight away and I knew I would never be able to cope with 3 children all with special needs alone and as we have more than one child with a disability, we do not fit in to any of the tick boxes so we knew we would be doing this all alone, unfortunately Lee had to give up work and help me raise our children, and we had to take money of the government to do this…
There have been plenty of struggles along the way and tears and fights but we are here today and very much one big happy family who has lots of love to give each other, my children are polite, articulate and well behaved children and I feel very proud and privaliged that they belong to me, I think that we was given them for a reason and that reason it to make their lives be filled with love…
I have been trying to find a soultion for myself not one to sit and wait on the authority and continuing to ask them for answers just gets you no where what so ever, requesting that 2 one bed bungalows be joined in to one for us all did not go down well and we have been told a frim no chance at all ever, so we was looking in to the private housing...
The ones that are in our price range £600 per month are not at all nice and would not suit our needs and we would need to move miles away and change schools/colleges and the children are all settled, then there is the ones that are in our price range but as we are on the DSS they are unwilling to take us why?!? then there are the ones that are never in our price range but perfect for us...
My house is furnished with good quailty items, I keep it clean and tidy, my children are not tearaways, in fact they only sit in the garden as they cannot play out, everything we own we have saved up for and bought ourselfs, we do not go out and party, drink have parties here, we are quiet and cause no problems whatsoever, so why will you not take us? Oh I see it is because we are on DSS through no choice of our own, we never expected our life to be like this..
In an ideal world our children would be well and able to do everyday things, hubby would still be working and we would have no need for DSS but for some reason things never worked out the way we have planned, so we make the most of what we have and fill our lives with love...
If we need anything we usually get turned down and then appeal it only to get turned down again, so we then have to save up and get it ourselfs, nothing is ever simple of straight forwards for us and never has been, we are not parents that screw the system, yes there is many things we could have and are entitled to but we have each other and there is always someone worse off that us so why take what someone else can have...
I know in my heart we are going to be here for a long time, I know that the children will suffer with the house, there is no way we could bring the bedrooms downstairs so we are stuck, I see my son using his wheelchair more and more as he is getting taller his limbs are finding it harder and harder to do things, I see no way out, there is no 3 bed bungalows out there and shorter than winning the lotto and buying our own we are stuck in this house struggling daily and there is no way we could ever save up 200 thousand pounds to buy our own, brick wall and head daily springs to mind...
Please do not judge us we are not all the same, I just want to support and love my family, so maybe when you see someone on DSS and think they have it easy, please think again, try living in my life for just one day facing all the problems we face, all the daily struggles we face, all the daily battles we face and continue to face each and every single day, and then you can judge us, we did not plan this life we were given it for a reason...
I am still fighting to get a 3 bed bungalow and I will not give up ever, I hope that one day opinions of us will change and people wont judge us, after all we are just a loving happy family that somehow life didnt get it right for.....
We are not all the same do not judge us....
I have had so many emails and comments to this post, and suggestions that my heart is melting by how much you all care...
This has been going on since September 2011, we was told yes we could move them told oh no sorry we made a mistake as it would mean your 2 girls sharing, so we appealed that and signed a waver, and told yeah we are good to go, then we needed medical priority something we didn't need before, then we need social services to do an assessment something we didn't need before, then we need the OT department to also do an assessment again something we didn't need before..
We cope as a family unit so have no need for social services, and the OT's made lots of mistakes the last time we needed them 4 years ago that we would rather not bother...
We have been offered another house, but the problem would still be there with the stairs and the struggles with mobility...
I also wanted to mention that Hubby is a chair of governors at the primary school where the children used to go and is very active in the community, and yes I would work and earn my own money if I could have a job where I could work from home, I would jump at it like a shot and so would Hubby, but there is no jobs for people like us and can you imagine if he got a job then one of the little ones needed an operation or was sick who would give him the time off? so we are well and truly stuck in this very fast sinking boat and struggling to stay afloat...
I do appreciate each and every comment that you have left and the wonderful emails you have sent, it is so good to know that at least someone somewhere read my little post, thank you hugs Pops x
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